Ladies who lunch
500 Words: Cringe
Bingo! The doors open and the bingo aficionados flow out. Here comes my mum, a big smile on her face and a big meat tray under her arm.
She gets a few dirty looks from some fellow bingo buddies who are jealous of her winnings.
She sees me waiting and raises her free hand in triumph. “For you!” She signals, grinning.
“Yay,” I mouth, rubbing my hands together, another barbecue on the weekend then. Mum and I are off to lunch.
We examine the club’s bistro menu and settle on fish and chips for mum and cajun beef salad for me.
I grab us a drink at the bar and we get a window table. We sit and chat.
Our buzzer bursts into life and I jump up to claim our meals.
The food is good. Mum enjoys hers very much and mine is delicious. Tender pieces of char-grilled beef atop a mound of shredded salad with spinach and cabbage and other green things.
We finish up and mum spies some friends of hers who have been unwell lately but who are here for lunch. We pack up our stuff and make our way over to their table to say hello.
They are very happy to see us and we spend a few minutes catching up.
We leave them to finish their lunch.
On the way out, mum spots some of her other friends, so we stop again to have a chat and see how they are going. We discuss our respective lunches and how tasty everything was today. Mum and I leave and head off to St Vinnies for a look. Mum introduces me to a lady who used to live near us many, many years ago. We have another lengthy chat.
I leave mum near her car and I head off home – lots to do this arvo. As I drive along, I check my face in the rear view mirror.
I fiddle with my hair. I scratch my earlobe.
I decide to bare my teeth and check my smile.
Staring back at me is a mouth full of teeth peppered with lots of green stuff – obviously bits of my very green garden salad lunch.
The green bits are everywhere, top and bottom, none of my teeth seem to have escaped the chives onslaught. I cringe…I have been speaking and smiling at lots of my mother’s friends through an embarrassing mouthful of yuck!
I feel so embarrassed. What are they going to think of me!!
Why didn’t mum tell me? I race home and phone her to tell her what happened
She laughs at me and assures me she didn’t notice anything.
I can only hope her friends are kind and forgiving and also shortsighted so that maybe, like mum, they didn’t see anything either!